Scott Hillsman

The world’s a disaster right now. The situation sucks for a lot of people. I keep hearing people say “we’ll get through this.” Yeah, we will…and I’m not so worried about that part. We’re hardwired for survival.

I’m far more concerned about the world we’re walking into. Once these crises are over, what are we left with? It’s so critical to have a sense of vision. If we don’t think about what we want to create, all we’re going to be left with is destruction and ruin.

And that’s a world that young people like me will have to live through for a long time. There is no leadership now. No public official is going to save us. America is burning and there’s nowhere to run. I’m hoping the people will decide what kind of lives and communities they want to build in the wake of all this.

In order to do that, we must go beyond knee-jerk reactions, and in a crisis the one thing that’s easy to do is react. However, what we need is a conscious response, and that’s not the opposite of a knee-jerk reaction.

I’m doing what I can in small steps. I’m starting my clinic business and it’s not an easy time for that. I’m doing it anyway. The isolation from Covid has worn on my psyche in a way I can’t even put into words. Some days I’m so depressed that my mind barely functions. Other days I’m fine – so it’s a strange shift back and forth, and I’m not alone in this. I’ve seen this pattern in others.

I’m not worried about making it through this – I know we’ll make it.

I’m worried about what the world is going to look like on the other side.

There are so many things I would write about. Of all the things I could say – I want to talk about consciousness and the spiritual realm. Part of me wants to ignore everything happening in the world today, and look to the future. I want to talk about the things we could create and how we can restore humanity to our world. I will talk about those things – but not today.

Today, I feel compelled to talk about something pressing – something that is affecting our world at this very moment. That thing is: all of these conspiracy theories. How do we know what is true?

I have to be careful what I call this article. Already, social media platforms have begun to censor the things people post, and a single keyword is sometimes enough to warrant a ban. I couldn’t be more against this. I don’t believe for a second that Facebook is doing the world a service by “policing fake news.” Even if they have altruistic intentions in this (and I doubt that they do), nobody should allow massive corporations the power to declare what information is true or false. Over that road lies disaster – and this is part of a bigger dialogue far beyond this article.

But what about those conspiracy theories? Admitedly, I dislike this topic. Most of the time, I try to avoid having conversations with hardcore conspiracy theorists. In my experience, they are (ironically) among the most closed-minded people I encounter. They’ve become so certain about some topic, that they could care less what information exists about it.

The hardcore conspiracy theorist doesn’t want to investigate the truth. Rather, they preach a message. They’ve bought into an alternative truth that mirrors the zeal of evangelical Christianity. I find this tiresome.

Granted, I know people who share theories or alternative views in a totally different sort of way. I enjoy having conversations with people who shares different perspectives – this is incredibly valuable. But I find many hardcore conspiracy believers much like other evangelicals: unconvincing and generally not worth the time to talk with.

Having said that, I pose a very serious question: Do you really believe the truth matches the stories that certain authorities want us to believe? Do you believe the government? The mass media?

We’re knee deep in an election year, and everybody’s on different sides of a fence. Versions of the truth have become drastically different from one person to the next. But perhaps we have something in common through this: most people (whether they admit it or not) deeply distrust some type of authority. Many powers within this world have lost our trust. For many, they’ve chosen to trust one authority or group, while condemning the rest. Other people don’t know who to trust at all.

The reality is, we’ve all been let down. Not by one political party – not by one individual or instance – but rather we’ve been let down by constant lies and facades. Deception has become a cornerstone of post-modern life. Information is power – those that control and conceal it remain powerful.

So there’s good reason for distrust. I would encourage people to look at the so-called “leaders” today with a baseline of distrust. However, this presents us with a real problem. That is: where do we find the truth?

We face a problem: we know we can’t trust the world, but we have no idea what’s really going on. This leaves people in need of answers – and the conspiracy theory body contains countless answers. For every standard explanation, there are innumerable alternatives. How do we know what to believe?

There’s a certain ironic failing to conspiracy theories, too. It is that the more theories exist, the more that actual conspiracies can hide behind all the theories like a smokescreen.

Think about it – whatever really happens at Area 51 is obscured by countless folk legends. If there are real aliens at the site, then Area 51’s activities can proceed under the security blanket of tons of fake alien myths. Essentially it’s a shield of misdirection.

On the other hand, if there are real aliens at Area 51, then the massive variety of alien stories muddy the waters of any real information. So the truth might be floating around with dozens of equally plausible (but false) conspiracy theories – essentially, we could call this “hiding in plain sight.” Truly, if the government wanted to conceal something, they would only need to create a bunch of conspiracy theories and throw the real narrative in with the mix.

So what’s the solution? First, we need to think for ourselves. Whether this makes someone a conspiracy theorist or not (I don’t care) having an independent mind is crucial. Next, science and the scientific method are important too. Also: investigate journalism has its place. In general, the more that people inquire, rather than entrench themselves in a single idea, the more perspectives on truth they will gain.

At an even more fundamental level we need to understand ourselves. The fact is that for every person who distrusts authorities, and who wants to see the truth, there are other people who do not want to see the truth at all. Sometimes these are characteristics within the same person. A great many conspiracy theorists are stuck in a single idea or perspective. They might preach alternative facts. But they wouldn’t see the truth if it came knocking on their door.

For those of us who have committed to the truth, there’s a basic question we can ask ourselves: “if the truth was something different from what I’ve known, how would I be able to see that?” I could write ten or more paragraphs about the value of this question. Instead, I’m going to let it stand. I suggest you read it again, and think about it for yourself.

In the end, these issues are no small matter. We are entering into a time where our way of life will be completely different from that of past generations. The future age will largely be guided by information. For this reason, it is critical that we set a course towards the free exchange of ideas – and we should be extremely critical of even the smallest attempts to undermine the free-flow of information.

Within this flow, who will we choose to be? Will we lock ourselves in the fortress of a single idea, shut away in a dark little space? Or will we choose to explore the world with curiosity, inquiry and a commitment to the truth?

I once read an article that described the classical Asian art tradition as “working to carve the perfect Buddha.” One starts with a block of uncarved stone. All possibilities lie within that shapeless stone – it could become anything. The Buddha himself sits within the rock, and its the artist’s job to bring the Buddha out.

Many classical Asian arts, whether painting, sculpting, martial arts, culinary skills and other things are passed down in specific traditional ways. The student follows the teacher – they emulate the form so the teacher can transmit a certain way of doing things. The master artist learns how to carve the teacher’s perfect Buddha. Once he does, maybe he’ll feel permitted to make some small changes to the design.

That’s one traditional understanding – it’s one that many world cultures adhere to. Americans, however, might as well have set fire to that model. How do Americans teach art? Radical expression. “Do it your own way” and find the art within you. Jackson Pollock splashes canary yellow onto his psycho-trip-out colorscape, and it’s the next multi-million dollar masterpiece. An American artist might carve a statue of Buddha screaming as he emerges from the belly of the Flying Spaghetti Monster – it’s all good.

I’m often critical of the American culture. I have many reasons to criticize the American culture. Yet, our artistry is one things I truly admire about this country. America is a country of innnovators. I believe that our radical sense of innovation is what America gives to the world. When we explore possibilities with a sense of freedom, we find new ways of doing things. Some fail and some succeed. But our successes can be huge – our creativity influences and inspires change throughout the world. Truly: Innovation is our greatest power.

However….somewhere along the way, a problem developed alongside this. It’s not a problem with innovation itself. It’s not even a problem with American art. Rather I’m talking about a mentality that’s so insidious and tricky to define. It’s like a parasite that crept into existence alongside our cultural experience of freedom. I call it “The Same Effects Fallacy” and it will take some time to explain what I mean.

A free-willed person will say “you can’t tell me what to do.” That’s good and fine. A lot of Americans exist in that space of mind, and many innovators benefit from it. Yet at some point, some people, take “you can’t tell me what to do” and evolve that into “you can’t tell me that one thing is different from another thing.” Actually, I can. That is the underpinning of The Same Effects fallacy.

This fallacy believes that “if I want a certain thing, I can do whatever I want in order to get that thing.” This is true only at times – all other times it’s simply not true. Let me provide some examples: A person with anger issues believes he can let go of his rage by drinking alcohol. Only when the initial relaxation of alcohol fades, and drunkenness takes over, the man explodes into violent anger. This happens every single time he drinks.

Or a person wants to lose weight by eating “fat-free” foods marketed in these healthy-looking packages. Only in reality they are highly processed foods full of artificial ingredients. This person diets on them and finds that not only are they failing to lose weight, but they feel physically terrible. What happens if you challenge what they’re doing? They say “you can’t question my method. I’m doing what works for me.”

Except you can question the method. And you most certainly can pay attention to what works and what doesn’t. Granted there are a lot of variables in this. There are many paths to a single goal, and the path that works for one person might not work for another. However, we can gauge the success by watching. All we have to do is pay honest attention. We may not know where an innovation will lead, but we can certainly pay attention to where it gets us. Those actions and results become patterns of cause and effect. So it doesn’t matter what the angry alcoholic tells himself, if every time he picks up a bottle he gets worse. It doesn’t matter if the fad dieter believes they’re eating healthy if the reality is that their diet habits suck.

The Same Effects fallacy rests upon the deep (conscious or unconscious) belief that “everything ends up being the same, no matter what you do.” This becomes a toxic and highly dangerous belief. Why? Because those that believe that all effects are the same, regardless of the choice or method taken, will not look at things with a discerning eye. This is the same as shutting down critical thinking. It’s resignation to a certain type of dogma.

People who believe in this fallacy may be found everywhere, but I’ve seen more of it in the New Age community than I could even describe. These people generally loathe being told what to do (for good reason.) Many of them escaped abusive religious situations, or otherwise, they are running from dogma and rigid ways of thinking. So unfortunately, many turn the empowering belief, “choose your own path” into “whatever path you choose will lead to the goals you want, and don’t let anyone suggest otherwise.”

This includes the people who smoke a ton of weed every day for “spiritual knowledge”, while failing to see that their minds have become clouded and incoherent. Or it’s the big bad witches who claim to know powerful magick, but fail to create any real or necessary change in their lives. Yet they are adamant that “no one can tell me that any method is better than my own.”

There are many cult leaders who have enticed a following with promises of enlightenment or spiritual growth, when underneath the facade, they’re running a sex trafficking enterprise. Or they coerce their followers into giving away their life savings. Or they convince people to kill themselves. All in the name of a spiritual path that the people will never actually benefit from.

So not everything is what it pretends to be. In this: not every practice leads to the same result.

Please know the place that I say this from. I am convinced that this reality is one of a vast spiritual dimension – and the spiritual world is powerful. I have seen real manifestation from acts of ritual magick. I’ve seen people healed without even being touched by someone’s hands or medicines. I’ve seen many incredible things from across the veil – and I believe there are many valid paths that lead people to real self-cultivation. So I’m not arguing against spiritual or new age practices – much to the opposite, I’m saying that many of them have real power.

But the belief that “you can’t question my methods or actions, because it all leads to the same effects” becomes another form of dogma. It’s a closed-minded way of looking at the world. It puts a person into a place where they won’t think or look at things deeply, because they’re afraid of judging or being seen as judgmental. So they want to be free. They want to do whatever they want to do, and not be questioned or judged. But in fearing judgment, they lose they ability to discern. And that’s dangerous. Without discerning, one becomes blind to cause and effect, and this places one in an abyss of potential disaster.

Because in truth: The world is full of cause and effect. Certains causes lead to certain effects – so to say that “there are no rules. It’s all the same – all causes can lead to all effects” is not a helpful range of beliefs. Instead, it’s something that will be disproven time and again through actual experience. The question is, will one choose to address the reality of cause and effect? Or will they continue to adopt this dogma that blinds them to discerning patterns?

At one level of reality, all things are possible. The universe is something like that uncarved block of stone: all manner of things come in and out of existence. Through this, nature is full of patterns. She is a flow of incredible rhythms – and in heeding that flow, and listening to those patterns, we can understand the ways of manifestation. If one is to draw things forth from a reality where all things are possible, then it’s necessary to listen to rhythms of cause and effect. For to pretend that “all results are the same” is simply to become swept away in the tides.

Quarantine days. The whole world shuts down – as COVID 19 keeps millions in their homes. Sitting at home, in a place of total isolation, many watch the sensational new docu-series “Tiger King” – a show that achieves instant pop-culture recognition. Joe Exotic’s mugshot becomes a meme. The internet is plastered with photos and jokes surrounding the exotic zoo-keeper with a golden mullet.

There’s a lot that can be said about this show (or any pop-culture phenomenon for that reason.) I could spend many paragraphs recounting the events surrounding Joe, Carole and others. However, I’m attempting to avoid rephrasing the story. I figure anyone can watch the show if they want to see it, or there are other places one can read a summary.

Instead, I want to take a spiritual reading from this series. When I say “spiritual reading” I am referring to a process akin to divination. This means that paying attention to the signs of the story, we can gain a better understanding of current patterns in our world. In general, pop-culture phenomenon gives an impression of part of the collective consciousness at any given time. Moreover, Joe Exotic’s story is a series of real events, so it directly relates to the world we live in – in reading (or divining) into these stories, we may achieve a greater degree of undrstanding about the current state of our world.

So all that being said, here is my reflection on Joe Exotic’s story (spoiler warning):

Numbness. The people come to the zoo for the tigers – they come because their kids want to play with the baby tigers, and when they hold these animals, it’s an incredible moment of connection. Yet underneath that happiness there’s a numbness: the people have no sense of what’s really happening behind these cages. The visitors don’t see the trouble in the zoo. They don’t see that the animals are starving because the keepers ran out of meat donations. At best the animals eat spoiled meat from Wal-Mart. The visitors don’t see the sexual exploitation of the workers, or the screaming bosses who threaten to kill or hurt people. They don’t see the tiger’s euthanized by gunshot in the muddy ravines behind the zoo.

On one hand these things happened in secret, where the visitors couldn’t see them. But it’s also true that the people would not want to see them. When the visitors come to the park, and they see hundreds of tigers crammed into little steel cages, including many that look unhealthy, they don’t question this. They don’t question whether or not these animals are being treated correctly. They look no deeper than the surface.

I don’t blame these people – the word “blame” is not something I want to throw around. After all, there’s a good chance I would have done the same things, I would have been eager to play with the baby tigers too. But the deeper truth is: a lack of awareness in this world has created more suffering than all malice combined.

The interesting this is: Now we’ve seen the show, Tiger King, so we’re no longer blind to what goes on inside some of these zoos. The show has revealed all kinds of stories about the zookeepers of various roadside attractions – many of the stories shocked us. Ignorance is no longer an option. No one will ever visit Joe Exotic’s zoo again without thinking about the story of the man himself. So now that we’ve seen these stories, how does that change the way we react?

It’s remarkable: there is a huge range of reactions to this show. Some people found it purely entertaining. They enjoyed the drama and the colorful characters. Meanwhile other people were horrified. They felt the pain of the animals (and people.) They saw an expose of real-life suffering and abuse, where each instant revealed something more vile than the next. Many viewers developed disgust towards Joe Exotic and others – the series became something of a Freak Show for them. It was so grotesque, they couldn’t look away.

Yet others love Joe Exotic. They even idolize him: he became a sort of hero to some people. After all, Joe speaks his mind, stands up for his rights, and tries to kill his hypocritical (and equally vile) enemies like Carole Baskin. So what is true in the end? Is Joe Exotic a hero of the people or a vile monster? The show has polarized people. It’s not unlike other sociological phenomenon in our culture in this way, where the populace has essentially split into irreconcilable pieces. Some people bemoan the “animal rights groups” and “overly-sensitive” people who would stop these zoos. Other people want to destroy Joe Exotic and the zoos. They want to throw these people into jail (or an unmarked grave.)

It’s clear to me that the people who idolize Joe Exotic don’t want to see the suffering. Even when it’s obvious, they don’t want to even question the possibility of suffering. Essentially, they are the ones that wish they could stay blind. They want to go back to that place where everything is okay, where they could visit these tiger zoos and not think too much about it. So they’ve embraced the situation, horrors and all.

Then there are the people that reject Joe Exotic. They see a man who is so hideous, so much a monster, that they’ve cast him far away – and in doing so, they risk failing to see something important about this man:

The fact is, most of us like Joe Exotic whether we admit it or not. We may like him at an unconscious level – as so many of his followers did. After all, Joe has charisma. He captivates us with charm and performance. Joe excites us. And at a deeper level, there’s something about Joe that is critical to understand in order to understand his appeal:

Joe is the king of his own world. He’s a wounded king, yes haunted and disturbed, but he still rules his own world – and many of us hunger to live from that same space of mind. Joe lives from a state of freedom. The man does whatever the man wants to do. He’ll shoot his guns into the lake. He’ll build a zoo and play with tigers. When Carole bothers him, he’ll make an internet show and threaten to send her rattlesnakes in the mail (which he likely carried through with.)

As much as Americans glorify “freedom” most Americans don’t feel free at all. If anything most Americans feel stuck in a complicated web of work, debt and social pressures. Modern life feels like a trap. This stands in stark constrast the cultural sensibility that we are supposed to feel free, and the inherent truth that we are all free based on our own nature. We could walk away from our jobs. We could change everything about our lives and start over. So what’s stopping us? The consequences of our actions (of course.)

Most people make a decision to play it safe. They choose to give up some freedom if it means keeping a stable job, or stable relationships, or avoiding some other kind of consequence. Joe Exotic is not that kind of man. He damns the consequences. He set his whole world on fire and could care less if he burns himself to the ground with it. Joe will claim his freedom at the sacrifice of everything and everyone else. In a way this makes him a bizarre caricature of the American man, complete with shotguns, country songs, and sparkling jackets.

Whether we idolize or hate him, the truth is most of us want the freedom he lived with. That freedom comes from living in alignment with the inner king (or queen.) The king always knows what he wants to do. He sits in the heart. We may lose touch with the king at some point, when we spend so much time in a lost space of mind, making compromises to get by. But the king is always there. Even when he’s hidden, he never forgets what he wants.

The real challenge we face is how we can restore the inner king or queen and still preserve our connections to others. We need to have our freedom and preserve social wellbeing too. This is the great challenge of America. It is a problem we have always faced – One of the reasons America exists is to help the world resolve this dilemma between freedom and society. It’s a theme from the founding of the country. And it’s a problem that we have never solved.

Joe Exotic failed to solve this problem, and it ruined his life. The man is in jail now. His mugshots show the eyes of a man who is deeply disturbed at a spirit level. He left behind a series of burned bridges, all of his relationships in shambles. There’s no doubt the man knew greatness. He cast a light of great charisma and influence on all those around him. But under the manic elation of his rise to power, he never found real peace. He neglected his kingdom and it fell into ruin. Now it’s ironic: the tiger king is locked in a cage himself – probably for the rest of his life.

How will we remember his story? A man named Joe was once a small-time entrepreneur. Like many of his colleagues, he opened a roadside attraction, in the hopes that animals would draw a small sum of cash from passing travelers. Yet in the end, the biggest attraction became Joe’s life. The story and drama of zookeepers laid the foundation of a multi-million dollar TV franchise. We’ve almost all but forgotten the tigers themselves. The humans are the real circus in the end.

In watching these stories, we see a demented side of the free American man (or woman, in Carole’s case. That chilling hypocrite.) We have an opportunity to see something of ourselves. The truth is, there is some version of Joe Exotic inside all of us – especially this is true for Americans. Now it’s a question how we can honor that side of ourselves while also preserving the world around us. Our challenge compels us to save the king while preserving the kingdom. For in failing to provide for one, we risk losing the rest to the flames.

I saw something on the mountain that I had never seen before. First of all, I grew up in the Sonoran Desert. I spent my whole childhood interacting with the native wildlife. Everywhere I walk, I’m looking for rattlesnakes – and I might not know the name of every bush and berry, but I know the desert. I know it on a personal level.

So recently, I woke up early for qi gong practice. I walked into the desert on a cool morning. The sun had not fully crested over the mountains. As I walked towards the crags and hills, a herd of white tail deer bounded off to the north. Three females. The morning felt vibrant with life, with birds singing in all the trees.

I approached my qi gong place: a higher slope that overlooked a narrow mesquite bosque in a wash. Beyond the mesquite trees stood a sharp hill with various boulders and brush. I began holding my qi gong postures. Then, on top of the rocky hill in front of me – I saw something move.

At first I thought, “another deer,” and I watched, but what I was looking at was no deer. It was black and large – approaching the size of a deer – and this black shape moved fast. It bounded down the rocks of the mountain, heading straight towards me. I froze. This large black thing barelled towards me and I couldn’t even get a good look at it. It moved so fast.

“That’s no deer, that’s a bear,” I said. Bears are rare in my neighborhood. Neighbors have reported them before, but I’d never seen one in the area, because we aren’t so high up in the mountains. Even as I said that, I have no idea what I saw. It moved with agility over the rocks like a mountain lion – but it was the wrong color. Coyotes can be black, but it looked bigger than that. It didn’t act or look like a javalina.

When the animal hit the tree-line in front of me, it dissapeared. I watched for a second, planning what I would do if it came crashing straight towards me. Then I saw it navigating through the mesquite bosque, appearing only in patches through the trees that obscured it. It headed south and away from my sight. I never got a good look at it.

I’ve met a lot of people who seem to think the world is all figured out – that there is a clear and easy explanation for everything. I’ve also met people who have had experiences that go beyond simple and ordinary explanations (I am one of those people.) I’m not sure what that large black creaturewas. It could have been a bear that had crawled down from the mountains – or it could have been something else.

In any case, it reminded me that the world is full of mystery. There’s always more. And when we figure those things out, there’s another mystery. No matter how much we think we know, there is always more. I’ve lived close to the desert land for most of my life and I still see things that surprise me. It’s true too that the strangeness of this story doesn’t compare to many other things I’ve heard (and experienced.)

I waited with baited breath for that black shape to appear again – it did not. After twenty minutes, I heard a strange rasping noise from the nearby trees, something like a harsh squeal. It was clearly an animal, but I couldn’t place it. I continued with my qi gong exercises, in awe at the depth of the world around me.